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A philosophy for the strong, the passionate, and the unapologetically human
Category: Humor (!)
With their endless pursuit of serenity and temperance, philosophies such as Buddhism and Stoicism have enlightened millions with the arts of acceptance, asceticism, and attempting to approximate a vegetable. But who said life should be a flatline of ‘mindfulness’ and tranquility? Stormicism is a philosophy for the strong, the passionate, and the unapologetically human.
Stormics believe in passionately feeling every moment of life. We embrace the chaos and high variance of intense emotions that arise from deeply caring about things. We experience true, natural, human euphoria.
Stormics believe desire is good. Yes, that's right. Want things. Yearn for them. Aspire to a grand vision. Strive to fulfill your desires; when you do, feel the sweet satisfaction and sense of superiority. And if you fail? Well, that you must be prepared for. True Failure, the pervasive kind that tells you ‘your whole life was for nothing,’ is not just possible; all reasonable people accept it as likely or even inevitable, something you must accept to be able to pursue True Success.
Stormics don't accept the world as it is; we try, and often fail, to shape it to our will. Why settle when we can strive to create the world as it should be? When things do not go our way, we never proclaim, ‘I guess this is how things were meant to go,’ but instead admit, ‘I failed because I was not good enough.’
We also love stress. Yes, stress - that thing you've been told to avoid at all costs. A life without stress is a life without challenges or excitement. In this life, you are choosing to fail before even trying. Instead of consoling each other, stressed Stormics revel in their collective energy and congratulate each other’s congruent physiological state. The feeling of having your cells mobilized for action, the cortisol and adrenaline flooding your bloodstream, eyelash mites dancing on the sheen of sweat that covers your face.
Stormics never meditate. Instead of sitting in place and humming ‘Om,’ we’re running forward screaming ‘More.’ Why sit in silence when you can be out learning, creating, and out-doing the tranquilized masses? This is not a philosophy for those seeking a retreat from the world but for those who want to dive headfirst into it.
Stormics focus outwards, not inwards. We don't have the time or interest for therapy couches and endless introspection. While others spend hours idly discussing feelings with a ‘professional’ who probably has even more problems than they do, we seek a better understanding of the physical world, attempting to predict what’s coming next with superior forecasting techniques.
Finally, Stormicism promotes a strong sense of self. Ego death is death, and death is bad. Instead of aiming to dissolve the self into the universe, Stormics embrace a strong attachment to their earthly identity. You’re not just a drop in the cosmic ocean; you're the star of your own epic novel (or simulation). We encourage you to attach yourself firmly to your self-identity, build it up with exaggerated pride, and never let go. After all, who wants to transcend the self when they can bask in the gloriously chaotic mess that is their individual existence?
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